I Got Lost, and Now I’m in Kyoto
Hi! *wink* Yes, I’m alive.
It’s been... a minute. Or a few months. Who’s counting? (Not me. Clearly.)
I didn’t mean to disappear from this space, but somehow I blinked and fell into a long, chaotic montage of work, healing, deadlines, existential spirals, and an alarming number of half-written drafts.
Anyway, cut to today:
I’m in Kyoto, accidentally on a solo pilgrimage, sitting at a magical cafe that may or may not be run by forest spirits. And for some reason, the universe decided this was the moment to send me a message, via a deck of cards, no less.
So here I am. Writing again. And I’ve got a little story to tell.
After hiking up sacred hills and wandering through Kyoto’s philosophical paths, I sat down here at Sibasi cafe (AMAZING PLACE. No more comment!) and so I shuffled a deck of Oblique Strategies cards by Brian Eno and Peter Schmidt,
and wow. The universe did not hold back.
I wanted to draw seven cards.
You know, like the seven days of creation.
And this is what I got:
1. Take a break
→ Rest isn’t avoidance. It’s alchemy. Step back so the deeper layers can rise to the surface.
Maybe I’ve been doing too much, even emotionally or spiritually.
Let stillness do its quiet work.
2. Use an unacceptable colour
→ Break my aesthetic code.
Not to destroy my taste, but to disrupt control.
(This could be literal in my visuals, or metaphorical in my choices.)
3. Retrace your steps
→ Go back, to discover.
There’s a key I missed in a past moment.
Rewalk a place. Revisit a conversation. Re-read a journal.
4. Look closely at the most embarrassing details and amplify them
→ Radical self-truth.
What I want to hide might be the most human and resonant part of me.
Name it. Make art from it. Laugh with it.
5. Give way to your worst impulse
→ Dangerous. Delicious. A permission.
That wild, inappropriate idea I dismissed? I’d try it.
Let a bit of chaos in. Maybe it’s the soul of my next project.
6. Don’t be frightened to display your talents
→ Don’t shrink. Don’t wait for someone to validate me.
And then came the 7th card:
Courage!
Like a blessing. Like a cosmic shout.
Like the moment your higher self claps from the back row and says,
“Go.” LOL
And just for fun, I pulled one more card to seal it all.
The 8th card said:
Accept advice.
So yeah.
I guess… I’m accepting the advice.
Taking the break.
Using the “wrong” colour.
Owning the impulse.
Amplifying the awkward.
What this actually means for me right now?
I started asking myself:
What does “unacceptable color” even mean for someone who already uses bold colors in photography?
Then it hit me: maybe I need to break my own rules, not anyone else’s.
Here’s what I’m playing with:
Use an unacceptable colour
→ I might try using colors I hate or stripping away color altogether.
Maybe I’ll experiment with black & white, overexposed light, or even those cringy iPhone default filters I usually run from. Maybe “unacceptable” = imperfect. Maybe just shoot and that’s it, no edit no coloring. Just as it is.
Give way to my worst impulse
→ This could be making art with my phone, showing messy selections, posting images I thought were too silly or “not deep enough.”
Maybe start a chaotic Substack series where I show my 'failed' shots or reject piles.
Don’t be frightened to display my talents
→ Time to stop being subtle about the work I care about.
Maybe I’ll share more behind the scenes, or say yes to things I secretly feel ready for but pretend I’m not. No more hiding behind the curtain.
Retrace my steps
→ I want to revisit old folders of “throwaway” photos and see what’s hiding in there.
Or rewalk familiar streets but shoot them through a different lens (literally and emotionally). Maybe even re-read old journals from my stuck periods and see what I couldn’t see then.
Have you ever had a moment like that;
where some random little thing (a card, a sign, a weird coincidence)
hits you right in the soul?